The absolute worst jelly bean flavours as yet conceived by man

New car smell

Hangnail

Sweet wrapper

That was mud not chocolate

Someone else’s saliva

When you meet someone in the doorway but you both go the same way and it goes on too long

You said ‘pardon me?’ more than four times to something that someone said

Molten latex

Exploded biro in shirt pocket

Tumble dryer fluff

Soles of a racist’s feet

Holocene extinction

The last couple of centimetres of someone else’s drink

‘Cool beans’

Invention of the wheel

IBS

Curdled manmilk

Impatient plumber

Troll

Quickmud

Andrew Lloyd-Webber

Pikachu gimp suit

Thoroughly dashed childhood dreams

Basalt

Brimstone

The Demon Core

The screwdriver used to pry The Demon Core open

Wrong brand of toothpaste

A sad sea lion

Antique pipe

A doctor’s unwashed index finger

Barbershop floor

Coconut crab (after consuming dangerously rotten fruit)

Extinct arthropod encased in amber

Kangaroo pouch

Unprocessed cotton

Briss

Concertina wire

Monday morning

The beat to ‘Billie Jean’ but the song never starts

Any Coldplay song but the song never stops

The first handful of dirt in your child’s grave

Mechanically separated Billy Bragg

MechaPegaCorn’s horn

AI portrait of ‘woke’

Sneaker Freaker

Lost love

Toejam

Scraped elbow

Upturned tortoise

Frothing cleft

Blaming Potatoes

Litter from Microsoft’s Pride parade float

Police state

Deep fried ejected stomach matter

Dial-up noise

T-slur

Stranger scratching your vinyl

Tasteless business card

Miscellaneous beaks

An unpursued kreon

Chunks of areola

Redruthian guilt

Diced Moomin

Milk teeth

The United States of America

Xenomorph cocoon

Swamp ass

Birthday omelette eggshell

Life review

Sneeze on a windshield

Blood blister

Infidelity

Mashed Swede

Molten seepage

Infected navel piercing

Warm Sheba

Bin juice

Central Line

Rooster wattle

Jools Holland on piano

Butterscotch & balls

£3 scotch

Handschuh

Pegging

Unattended flame

‘Today Years Old’

Rectal thermometer