The absolute worst jelly bean flavours as yet conceived by man
New car smell
Hangnail
Sweet wrapper
That was mud not chocolate
Someone else’s saliva
When you meet someone in the doorway but you both go the same way and it goes on too long
You said ‘pardon me?’ more than four times to something that someone said
Molten latex
Exploded biro in shirt pocket
Tumble dryer fluff
Soles of a racist’s feet
Anthropogenic extinction event
The last couple of centimetres of someone else’s drink
“Cool beans”
Invention of the wheel
IBS
Curdled manmilk
Impatient plumber
Troll
Quickmud
Andrew Lloyd-Webber
Pikachu gimp suit
Thoroughly dashed childhood dreams
Basalt
Brimstone
The Demon Core
The screwdriver used to pry The Demon Core open
Wrong brand of toothpaste
A sad sea lion
Antique pipe
A doctor’s unwashed index finger
Barbershop floor
Coconut crab (after consuming dangerously rotten fruit)
Extinct arthropod encased in amber
Kangaroo pouch
Buttered bum
Unprocessed cotton
Briss
Concertina wire
Monday morning
The beat to ‘Billie Jean’ but the song never starts
Any Coldplay song but the song never stops
The first handful of dirt in your child’s grave
Mechanically separated Billy Bragg
MechaPegaCorn’s horn
AI portrait of woke moralist
Sneaker Freaker
Ben Shapiro’s voice
Lost love
Toejam
Scraped elbow
Upturned tortoise
Frothing cleft
Blaming Potatoes
Litter from Microsoft’s Pride parade float
Police state
Deep fried ejected stomach matter
Internet dial-up noise
T-slur
Stranger scratching your vinyl
Tasteless business card
Miscellaneous beaks
An unpursued kreon
Chunks of areola
Redruthian guilt
Diced Moomin
Soviet IKEA bag
Milk teeth
The United States of America
Xenomorph cocoon
Swamp ass
Birthday omelette eggshell
Life review
Sneeze on a windshield
Blood blister
Infidelity
Mashed Swede
Infected navel piercing
Warm cat meat
Bin juice
Central Line
Rooster wattle
Jools Holland on piano